Dude - I also watched the previous one and I have to agree - impressive - Huge improvement. The cuts were all excellent and the music well chosen.
As you said the sound mix was a bit weak but you can sharpen this up. Where you have the popping on the V.O. dip the audio at these points so it's not too harsh. As for mic choice - I assume you were limited to the tools you had but its still ok.
There are two solutions you should apply to the next one -
firstly - go buy a pair of ladies stockings, take one fold it in on it's self - get a wire coat hanger and pull the stocking over it. do the same with the other stocking - instant pop shield and it will work.
Second - I have worked as a voice director for the past 3 years and popping does still happen even with experienced Voice Over Artists. You need to start practicing how to soften your pronuciation on hard sounding syllabuls - relax your lips when pronouncing them this will dtramatically cut down on the popping.
This is inspiring me on writing a Voice Over guide - hmmmm.
One of the things that's missing from the video is actual sound from the flight. - There is no fill sound so it appears a lil unnatural. I assume that there is possibly a huge amount of engine/wind noise that is too loud for the camera mic but there I can suggest 2 solutions for you.
Fisrtly - Wrap a towel or lots of toilet paper round the mic to deaden it.
Secondly - film a mate flying past in close proximity just for atmos fill sound.
My last point on this is some graphics - It would be great if you added some text to it with some info like the location you are flying, the date and any geographical points of interest.
All in all an excellent job. Really fantastic work mate.
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