Not bad, there were some nice kills in there, but maybe next time try to choose some music that you can combine with the action, mayby something with a beat you can time some of the kills with.

In my opinion what makes a good game movie is the combination of music and action, offen you'll see alot of kills delivered with some hardcore techno music. and then it's not that fun anymore.

ex. like in this movie I made:
http://users.cybercity.dk/~dsl62001/Zodiac_sub.avi
it's encoded in XviD and about 9MB

keep in mind it was more or less thrown together

hope it helped